Thank you. Really it's odd how this happens and if I'm being completely honest, it only really happens when I need him RIGHT NOW and can't have him at that time--or if I think I'm getting him and I don't, as in this case. Generally, when we have an issue, we just talk about it. I do have good skills with that, and that's why we have only really had a handful of arguments in a year and change. Because normally if there's an issue, we just talk, and we both pretty much follow the rules, using I statements, seeking resolution and not blame or victory. But I don't know, like if he says "I'm done at the office, I'm heading out now and on my way home" and then, say, gets caught up talking to his boss or stops at the grocery, I get really upset and then withdraw--it's like once I'm expecting something and then without warning it doesn't happen, I don't handle it well at all.
I don't become abusive or anything, and normally I'm not so immature. I do handle change and disappointment fair to middlin' in a lot of areas, but when it's something I get SO HAPPY about, such as getting to spend the afternoon with him, or something I really really need right now, such as mentioned in my post, once that's taken away or changed, I just shut down.
I will be paying close attention to this and working on it. In general I am a good and giving, loving, forgiving partner. He is happy and feels loved and appreciated. His behavior is not that of someone who fears wrath if they make their own choices; he's not like a whipped dog at all. As I said, this rarely happens, it's just that when it does, I want to avoid it.
I think what I don't like is the admission and display of how badly I wanted or needed him at that moment and how disappointed I was not to get that. This is spite of the fact that I have no problem expressing to him how much I love him, how I would die from grief if anything happened to him, how happy he makes me, how much I want to make him happy...It's not like I'm cold or distant in other ways. So.
Thanks for your post and for your encouragement.