I feel your pain. Different case of vaginismus, but finger(s) can be just as painful as attempting penetration with a penis. Doggy style better?! I’ve had nothing but misery trying (and even with successful penetration) in that position. Prone is better, at least in my experience, but not possible for me right now; things can be different with different partners (sizes, lube, and being gentle and respectful).

I’ve unfortunately encountered many men who just want to shove it in, and it’s often with injury. Thankfully there are men who listen and go easy when you very much need that, or back off when it isn’t working. He’s obviously not respectful of you, your body or your boundaries. I’m sorry you’ve encountered one of those. Please never speak to that one again or give him another chance.

There’s also the issue that he shouldn’t be inserting anything without consent and your awareness prior.