Started with my first anime couple of 3 or 4 years ago, Dragon ball, started getting hooked on anime and started to search for new anime and from a good friend of mind recommended dxd so I gave it a shot and man it’s been a roller coaster, started watching it 2 years ago around the beginning of the pandemic and I got hook so fast, at first I like it for its showing of women but fell in love with the plot and my friend who recommended it thought me weird but I didn’t care, got involved with the subreddit after finishing it, looking for the 5th season or news and I would spam the Reddit (I look back at it and I was an idiot and I apologize to whoever had to deal with me at the time) and then I heard about the light novels and stuff and gave them a chance, but it was weird I got to a point where my friend would say I was obsess with the show (looking back I really was), I would wake up thinking about the show and going to sleep again thinking about the show , I would have arguments in the Reddit if I remember correctly about sub and dub (it was really stupid and I apologize to whoever it was) I would start to say the juggernaut drive in my head and out loud, (at the time I thought of it was cool but now I don’t know, weird and obsessive maybe). I don’t know, this show hit me at a personal level that I believe shouldn’t have and I believe it affected me to the point it made me the person who I am today. At the time (and even sometimes now) I get this dark, sinking feeling in my stomach about the show and how it’s over, especially I got this strange feeling in my head and stomach, like I was scared or embarrassed or afraid of the Reddit and discord (till this day the feeling is somewhat there but not as overwhelming) or maybe it’s just jealousy but I don’t know what to be jealous of, sometimes I felt like to cry, felt like I was weak and afraid. I would eventual spiral into a depression, physically and mentally broken felt, afraid felt like a disappointment but I wouldn’t give in, I deleted Reddit and started to work out, stopped watching anime and getting my life back on track and I’ve lost weight and have never felt better. After two years I decided to rewatch the show and get back on the subreddit, nice to see that the Venom dude is still running the Reddit and discord, even though I knew the embarrassment, empty feeling, fear or jealousy is still here but like all problems, we have to eventually face them all on directly, thank you.