I clear my throat and draw a deep, relaxing breath before I start in, "I... I would like to get to know you better, Nathan."

*Listening to the tangent, several emotions riddle my head. First is confusion, when she says she wants to know me better. What does she want to know?

"I want to go out and explore places with you. I want to sit and talk. I would like to make lunches for and eat them with you. I want the chance to get to know you, who you are, and I would like you to have the same opportunity with me."

The next emotion that hits me is both realization and understanding. She's been my friend for a little while now, and I haven't said a thing about myself, aside from the things she's stumbled upon. With her poor memory, the only things she can remember me with right now is anything that she writes down.

I start out rushed, anxious, but I slow--replacing rushed speech with pacing about the room instead. I try to stay focused on what I have to tell him, "I'm n-not... I'm not asking to call them dates and... and I'm not asking you to be my boyfriend. That's not it at all." I have to make that clear more for his sake than my own.

"S-See, we kissed. Us. And I'm puzzled. I don't know if this," subconsciously I place my hands, one folded neatly over the other, to my chest, "how I feel when I do get to spend time with you, is just some school girl crush or... or if I like you. And it confuses me so, so much."

embarrassment and shock comes with her admission to confusion. The odd moment we shared is confusing her as much as it is me, and she's now trying to figure out what she feels.

"I-I... I've spent the last two years," I can't look at him. I just have to keep pacing; keep focused while I have this moment of clarity, "in a confused haze. My mind's been in a mist. And... And I feel like if I didn't bring this up: my wanting to get to know you better; to see where it leads in a couple, or even several, months, I-I feel like it's just going to be one more thing that contributes to me being lost and confused."

Now guilt and shame decide to come tag along as she speaks of her reasoning behind this talk. I couldn't even help my first, and now only friend, with her mysterious condition, even after all the help she's offered to Her final words leave me feeling deep respect for the young woman. She's gone through all of this, but still cares about what others; what I think.