There's only one way out of rock bottom .

Whether you want to accept it, this moment was inbound for you. You're having an emotional and physical response to that , its natural no matter how badly you screwed this up , you deserve to feel this , you deserve to miss what you had or once were . This is a growing experience. Growing is extremely painful but it has the potential to save your life .

The lack of progress has brought you here where you sit . If your ex kept on accepting you for what you were doing that would be cruel in itself. You deserve to be better and do better and not rot away . This isn't a tragedy, it was one .

Now get up and get yourself back.