Now I'm 33 years old, I've sat on the fence, and been hard in the paint on both sides.

I've met people on both sides of the fence, and the best humans I've met (The ones I really thought were really modeling the life perfectly spent) knew what each side of the fence had to offer. People who stick to one side or the other all the time, and think the other side is "missing out" are the ones missing out.

I've read most of the best Atheist books, and Religious ones, but try as hard as I can, I just can't shake this suspicion that there is something more to this big physics engine.

We may have to spend another couple of hundred thousand years pursuing perfection in science and technology, surpassing our old notion of the omnipotence of God by several orders of magnitude before we find it.

You think you got these religious nuts figured out, that they are all deceivers for personal gain, you'd be surprised that some of them can give voice to an Atheism far purer and eloquent than their most militantly atheist and intellectual opponent.

God is just a Projection of what humans can imagine to be an idealized self trying to rebuild itself so it can survive indefinitely. An opium of the people. A social net to guide and protect the stupids, an organization to protect the industrious and hard working from the stupids, a club for fellowship and education, a research facility heavy on fantasy and delusion, call it nonsense.

And when the capstone for the perfect argument against God is complete, it all falls apart when someone asks: "What is the logical conclusion to evolution given infinite time, and hasn't there already been an opportunity for this conclusion to already be realized?"

Evolution is tracking toward either knowing or becoming God as if that's the only thing it was designed to do. And then there he is again. At the peak of atheism, You peek upwards and think: "If you're there, give me a sign", and a bird shit lands in front of your feet, rationalizing it all away with a dismissing hand gesture of probabilities and appeals to burden of proof on the one making extraordinary claims.