I don’t see the distinction the way you do (pup vs. puppy). What I’m reading here is a lot of differences between the predominantly GLBT pup(py)play community, and the more straight petplay (with subtypes) community (for which my only real knowledge comes from your post, so I’ll assume it’s descriptions are accurate).

There’s no question that pup(py)play in the GLBT community grew out of the BDSM community, and as such is more geared towards... gear. It is definitely growing beyond those strict boundaries, and for some people is completely removed from that community, but most pups/handlers still acknowledge or more directly take part in the BDSM aspects of pup(py) play.

Obviously I don’t know how you identify, but your description of our community as hiding their pup side away will rightly rub a lot of us the wrong way. Most pups in our community are somewhere on the GLBT spectrum, and anyone (gay, straight, whatever) don’t take kindly to someone outside our community telling us we’re hiding or not proud of who we are. Most pups I know proudly wear their collars and tags out everywhere, or at least are pretty open about it with their friends (if not family, for obvious reasons).

I hope this helps answer your questions, and maybe provides some insight into how your questions are received (with the normal disclaimers that I can’t/don’t speak for the community as a whole or anyone in particular besides myself).