Thank you, I'm still struggling. I know the lesson is to love myself before I beat every addiction; and I'm trying. Know people have suffered more, but being an introvert; I really can't relate since it is really gossip from the grapevine for me. But I can admit that I don't have a real personal connection with anyone else but my mother. So, idk what I would really do without her. I give the idea that I am strong, but know that I can break so easily with being the only one that didn't do but the minimal in my life just to be safe. I have tried, even before my drinking problem; but no matter what, it is hard for someone to care about you and accept you if you are not religious and think that God will save you. So, right now, religion is my saving grace/with my mom still being alive right now.

(Been drinking, my only vice that I can find an excuse for. For now) Other than that, I will probably find an excuse to end it; by maybe going on a fast or swim as far as I can just to be religiously safe. (Like I said, been drinking, but haven't seen any real change or purpose to really care at 30)