Feel you there. My situation was a little different in the fact my wife died 4 months into our separation so I had to play a character in public for a while because people would often turn on me trying to paint me as a bad person but the thing about it is that my wife and I were in an extremely toxic abusive relationship. She gaslighted me years prior into I had no friends or support besides her and even when I tried to leave her back in 2015 she went on to have everyone turn on me by telling people I was back on drugs and drinking again. I don’t know why but I ended up getting back together with her after a 6 month separation. I thought the relationship would get better but it didn’t. She then became emotionally absent the last 4 years of our marriage as we only made love like 2 times during that time but yet I wasn’t allowed to masturbate but she was. Eventually I had a spiritual awakening and realized I was unhappy and asked for a separation. Ate then started drinking and drugging again and looking for guys to get with until I’d ask her to come home again which wasn’t happening. My brother in law came home from work on September 13, 2019 and found her unresponsive in her room in his house. He called the EMT’s in which they declared her DOA. I had warned people for years she had been overmedicated like her doctor and her family in which no one did anything. I pleaded for her to get help in which she decided her medicine was more important then our marriage. Eventually it took her life. This happening before the pandemic didn’t help then of course trying to develop any kind of relationship afterwards was damn impossible. I’m just lucky I guess my family has helped me through it. I used to blame myself for it but realize now after doing grief counseling we make choices in life and she didn’t make great decisions which cost her her life.