I was really good for a while. I managed to lose around 30 - 35 pounds in a month or so. Then, I had my first binge. It spiraled out of control. I have always been overweight and I've had issues with food for a long time. I'd eat a fuck ton (not just my ED brain talking) I was actually eating a lot. Now it's a cycle of bingeing and wanting to purge, and starving for a day. I can't purge because my dad caught me one time. Since I couldn't purge I self harm and don't eat for 19 hours or so and I binge again. I need help getting back on track. I've been focusing on other things than my ED and that's what got me. Instead of having a bad week or day, it's been over a month of this now. I just ate and didn't care about calories and then I'd come out of my daze and be like "Oh fuck I did it again". I like the feeling of hunger and I was used to it when I was good. Now I still like the feeling of hunger but I'm not used to it anymore. I'm going back to school soon and I want to lose maybe 30 - 40 pounds. I just need help. Any tips? I'm desperate.