I hate that you have hardship over this, and that they are likely holding you prisoner in some financial ways - - but if you can get off of that phone plan yourself, and relocate without involving them in the decision, that would be the kind of advice I'd be grateful to get from a friend.

Again: finances are real, family financial entrenchment in the US is rampant and baked into all of the dependencies that keep these problems alive and well - - if you can't break it off, it's not your fault and don't beat yourself up - - but if you can break away, it would probably be healthy. Especially if you have an family of friends and support that make your family's unnecessary.

But don't do it if it isn't safe for you. I don't want you stranded with less help or hope than you might need in a pinch.

Boundaries can do the job of divorces of this kind - but some of us are better at maintaining them than others. Boundaries are a kind of relationship moderator - and some of us work better abstaining than moderating.