I know how you feel mate! I've had the same. His music resonates so clearly. For me he's one of those that's so deep but has the comical layer that disguises it. I love this video so much, it encapsulates him so well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ob3X77TwqEw
"Also I still cry about his passing pretty often, really the only death that has ever affected me..." Genuinely felt worse about him than my grandmother passing. He was so talented, deeply helped so many and was just so needed by so many people, but didn't realise it. No-one knows what was going on for him, but it's such a tragedy what happened.