When did it start?
I’ve had it for a year and a half. I’ve made it better but not back to normal yet. I’ve used pink noise with a lot of success. But, this is definitely hell, and you’re not crazy. It’s really bad and hard. Read success stories over and over when you’re dwelling on it and get some hope back and look for clues. Pink noise is a part of almost every single recovery story I’ve read.
When I’m down about this I literally google “hyperacusis recovery” and “hyperacusis success story.”
Those stories are your template for recovery.
The first 8 months I was mostly hopeless and intensely suicidal. I couldn’t accept what was happening and I gave myself a couple of setbacks. It was awful. Four months in went to an NBA game without earplugs and by the time I got home I was mentally reeling. Curled up in bed in a stupor, ideation ideation ideation nonstop for hours. It was like having my soul drilled into by a dentist. Don’t do shit like that. Too loud too soon is a horrible idea. You will get there.
8 months in I started using pink noise and things started to improve. I went from not being able to shower without earplugs to being able to listen to podcasts while driving without it being too much. I’m mostly back in the world 18 months in, but it wasn’t until around 12 months that I really felt even close to normal.
I still worry about so many important future things. Am I really going to be able to handle a child screaming and crying, like right in my ear? That might be out. I pretty much gave up on dating since I can’t go to any venue louder than a Starbucks and enjoy it. “Hi, I’ll never take you to a movie, concert, play, or game, probably. Maybe in a year or two? I literally have no idea.” etc. I havent bothered risking going to any loud event even with earplugs because the setbacks scare the everloving fuck out of me. What am I doing to myself there? No one knows.
What I’ve learned is can’t ever, ever pretend like I don’t have it. I pay for either listening to something too loud (setback) or not keeping up with sound therapy (not as bad as a setback, but i get jumpy and things get closer and louder). This is cancer. You have to do the treatment or you’re fucked.
That’s at least how it feels to me. Some people seem to get better. Like I said, read success stories over and over to look for clues. I definitely pink noise is almost every single success story.
Be really patient. This is an incredibly difficult adjust to make. I believe that if you dont tailor your life to dealing with this, it will remain a serious problem. BUT if you do, you’ll get better.