Hey there. I can relate. Started off with regular porn, then moved more into BDSM then into more femdom then ultimately sissy. I always thought I just liked the power dynamic of being in charge until I realised I wasn’t fantasising about being on the giving end. Now I am only physically attracted to females (at least for now) but cannot resist stealing a pair of panties to wear here and there, also once I found where the dildo was hidden that mofo went up my arse almost immediately. Now I don’t think this makes you gay, that’s for you to decide. I actually have a very good thing going with a female friend who knows most of this, and has even suggested we go shopping for toys together. Quite frankly whatever you feel is right, is right. Though don’t take my word for it as I’m also very new to all this ;)