The thing is, too, is that they promised me they'd be on my team, "always and forever" (directly quoting what they said multiple times) and that they believed "it'll be alright" and that we could work anything out. Clearly that was just a lie, because once I started saying it, too, they seemed to no longer believe it.

I believe I will be fine, but I really wish my past didn't follow me around. I think some day I would like to drop everything I know and move to a new city to get a fresh start. I am still very young, but all the trauma over my lifetime so far, this breakup included, even though I am a guy, makes me feel so weak, and the past follows me. I want to separate from it, and maybe some day distance might help.