That was my initial reaction, because I could do it... She says she's trying right now, she deleted every contact on her phone except for family and me. I think she's really trying, and that's the hard part as well because it's hard to say straight up no because she says she'll try anything and do anything, and she has ended up meaning every single word. She just deleted all of her contacts by herself, I didn't even tell her to. She gave me his phone number to block it as well, so I'm pretty sure she didn't want him texting her anymore either. This cooperation makes me think she means every word she says.
Her story makes sense, it's also aligns with her location history on her phone. I have no reason to believe it's worse than she told me, and what she told me sounds a lot more like taking advantage of someone than straight up cheating. That might just be me trying to make myself feel better about it though.
And the thing is, she could have just never told me. Nobody would know and everything would still be normal. So I'm not sure if complete honesty is the best policy. However, she also told me directly after it happened, so the guilt must have been insurmountable. That's how I know she feels terrible about it. I know I probably won't feel better about this anytime soon, and I will probably have it lingering in the back of my mind for the next coming months. However, I feel it can work, however stupid that is to think.
She also said, and this is a bit strange, that the only way she would ever forgive herself is if I had sex with another girl while she was in the room. I don't think I could do that though. She said she felt terrible while it was happening to her, and she just wanted it to stop. I feel as though I would have similar feelings towards something like that, and more pain isn't the best path towards a better relationship. But also - threesome... It's a weird feeling to have when that option is on the table.
Anyway, that was a lot. Sorry for venting and rambling. It's been a lot and I needed to get it out.