Do you really expect us to trust the EU in regards to Kosovo? What guarantee do we have that you will not advance further, demanding independence or increased autonomy for the Bosniaks of Sanjak, people of Vojvodina, and then eventually all other regions?

In regards to Kosovo, we still have our people and half of our history over there. We can't just leave them to a government of Albanians, they will be treated like absolute shit. Also, our monasteries.

Our people love Russia because it has transgressed us in the past far, far less than any other nations who now claim to be our true friends. They helped us when Maria Theresia tried to convert us all to Catholicism. They helped us in the First Serbian Uprising and almost all wars with the Turks from there onwards. They were the first to help in WW1, their architects built some of Belgrade's most beautiful buildings. WW2 is a lot more shady in regards to Russia, but they're still seen as a combatant and ally against fascism who crushed the Nazis. And as for the EU nations, we have historical and trust issues with almost all of them. It's not just because of the bombings that we don't like European nations, you know. Serbs weren't innocent, unmolested bystanders in the Holocaust, after all.

Liberal media? We have that.

Minority rights? Have you ever been to Vojvodina? There are more than 20 ethnic groups there living in complete harmony. They have full rights, they have organized national communities. Croats, Wallachians, Goranci, Ukrainians, Rusyns, Slovaks, Romanians, Hungarians, Bulgarians and so on. Topographic signage is multilingual in such areas, they have TV and radio programme in their own languages and sometimes even standardized testing is printed in minority languages for minority students.

Join the EU? You're never going to allow it.