Eva, her name was, Eva. I still remember her shiny, dark hair with the big, long waves in it. Her make up was on point, and her body was flawless. She had curves in all the right places, no stretch marks, a flat tummy, and the prettiest eyes, not to mention some sexy, skanky lingerie. I didn’t mean to stumble across her picture, but something told me to swipe to the next page in his browser history. There it was. Pornhub. I thought, this can’t be true, this can’t be real, I must be delusional, for sure. The problem with that was, she was staring back at me with her seductive eyes, the same way she looked at him every time he was alone with her. I’m sure of it. Eva was Latina and looked like a fantasy without a doubt. “Who’s Eva?” I asked. If I could feel the rhythm in his heart drop a beat, it was at that very moment. He knew, I knew. I got up from the somewhat comfy chair I was sitting in, and walked to our daughters’ bedroom, because it was the farthest in the house. What I remember from that point, was true betrayal; I was hurt and devastated. Never did I ever believe he had eyes for another woman, because I was the one, he promised the world to. I was the one he made love to. But who was this man I was staring at? Who was this man begging me to believe him when he told me it wasn’t me, it was him? It was a perverted problem he had created in his own mind, and he pleaded with me to believe it would never happen again. Of course, it may have been the first time I caught him without an escape for him to backtrack and blame someone like he did the time I found the DVD. Of course, I lied to myself again because it happened several more times before I realized, it really wasn’t me. It really wasn’t going to take my beauty away. It wasn’t going to stop me from being successful. It wasn’t going to stop me from being the best mother I could for my kids. It wasn’t going to stop me from learning to love my broken pieces back together again. Although, it was equivalent to having daggers stabbed into my back and penetrate through my beating heart, I believed him because I forced myself to be so naïve. I trained myself to believe my own lies because at that point in my life, I didn’t even know how to love myself enough to be that real. Lady, don’t ever believe your own lies, don’t ever lie to yourself to build someone up who would tear you down for a fantasy delusion. You are worth more than diamonds, remember that. You are loved and not even Eva could take that away from you. Girl delete that browser and refresh your life. #EvaWho #YouAreWorthMore #LoveYourself #BrokenPieces