"I'm going to just come in here and ruin everyone's night because I think I'm special!"
NO ONE IS SPECIAL GO HOME. We do not need your money and you complete lack of tip.
It's the customers that think we'll never make money again if they don't get what they want and proceed to make a scene that make me angriest. You are ruining literally everyone's day because you don't know how restaurants work despite standing right in the middle of one.
And I absolutely would have sat there forever and left a double tip if it would help. I did that one night for a server that was crying because she was oversat and couldn't clear a single table. Asked her if she wanted to ignore my table while she worked it out and I was there two hours getting free drinks and food. Made a new friend from it, we drink after work together now.
Be excellent to one another. AND GO HOME IF YOU'RE GONNA BE THAT GUY. You know when you're being That Guy. Get takeout and cry at home.