I like chill drug users. I think I am a chill user I just like them as the occasional crutch. I have the current fear that more people will die… and I have a very small pool of people and animals I love as is. So I’m just sad… and my dad didn’t text me back, just texted he was sad… no response so that’s nice. I do like that I have some sort of base accuracy with guns. Diablo was my protecky boi. Just breaks me that he is gone. Really I said oh look at that pup just driving and I start crying and now. It hasn’t even been a month. And more go. I really like opiates. Right now at least. I don’t like upping doses. I initially wanted to not dive in. Less supply now. But live and learn I guess. I’m curious about the breakdown in the body. Alcohol one I love breaks down into formaldehyde. This? I have been waiting to look at the chemical structure. I need to look at opiates. I don’t mean to like them. I just do. I’m doing my best not to show how I feel… I think it leaks through sometimes that I need to kill. I just want happy work, fun work different. It is good work. I am just sad. I wish I could describe better but right now I just want sleep