I've actually tried to get her to take an interest in getting healthier with me, framing it as a desire to be healthier and have possibly longer and happier lives together. I have not ever directly insulted her weight, and I've never used her weight in a negative way as it relates to her appearance. Nope, no interest in any weight loss, just complaints over back aches, too tight clothes, and tiredness. I moved 100+ miles north to be with her, got an apartment together, and now, months later, it's still filled with her stuff in boxes.
She doesn't like couches, apparently, because she comes home and goes straight to our bedroom, and lays in bed until she gets me to bring her food, then eats in bed, then tv in bed, then sleep. She calls my food "that green shit", refuses to eat many veggies (mostly starch and meat) or eat the same dish twice in a week. I've seen her, when hungry and I refuse to go buy fast food (not about money, she's a gov employee and makes much more than me) look at the dirty dishes, realize she'd have to wash a bowl, look at it, then go back to bed (until I caved and made her pasta later). I thought I was lazy, but..... damn. I didn't realize what I was getting into, and she didn't really let this all show till I moved in.
As for the AT, I'm thinking about two section hikes, maybe a week each. I definitely want to do the 100 mile wilderness and katahdin for one, and a good section starting or ending at Harper's ferry, wv. I'm planning one home in early spring and one shortly before the summer solstice, as there's a camping event I attend every year on that week. Still working the details, still trying to figure out if I can handle north main in early spring. And it's all recreational. I've always wanted to and there's no better time than now, er.. spring! I moved up here and I had been doing construction, atm I'm delivering pizza (it's ok to laugh) and I plan on getting back to school full time after the summer hike to complete my bs in biochem. Might do an online class or two, if possible, between now and then.
Honestly, in a way, she's helped me. A bad example can be just as helpful as a good one. It's part of why I browse subs like this. I'm not perfect, but when I see some of these posts, it makes it much easier to see my own faults. It's too easy to excuse my own faults, I know just how to lie to myself, but when you see a glaring example of a loathsome trait that you have even a touch of, or an end destination of a road you've taken even a few steps on, it becomes much clearer the changes you need to make.
Also, don't be scared to talk to someone if you're having those thoughts. Seriously, unless you're saying 'do x or else I'll kill myself', no one will think you're trying to blackmail them. You have to put it in context, explicit or implied, that if they do that thing you don't want, you'll kill yourself. I don't think you'd do that, and i don't think anyone who really cares, who you'd want to talk to about it, would be upset with you simply because you're having these issues. I'm glad you're getting better, and just remember that it's always a journey, always an effort to move forward. You're not alone.