It's absolutely my pleasure. It's part of my mental condition(s) to desperately want to please people - because that way I can push some uncertainty aside as to how they feel about me. It's quite difficult for me to challenge someone.

In terms of how it feels, it's hard to describe, because until I gained some insight, I had no reason to doubt this was normal. I don't feel most emotions. I've never really expressed anger. I've never shouted at anyone through rage. I've never ever hit anyone. I'm very clearly and softly spoken, and it's incredibly rare for me to raise my voice.

I've got other stuff going on, like feeling every memory I ever had are concurrently and constantly playing as videos on different channels in my head.

I used to think of this as a super power, because I could flick to any channel at will and play content, pause, zoom in etc, even connecting some new information and cross reference it with a few other channels and make connections other people don't see. Other people think so slowly it's just mildly irritating that they can't keep up and painful to have to think how to break it down to explain it to them.

I'd show off with various party tricks, like recounting the exact order a table of 15 ordered three years earlier, the last time we met, and then reel off hours of stand up comedy I have watched, being able to copy the same comic timing as it plays in my head. People would see me as out going, and spectacularly charismatic but most of it is based on observations. I watch and listen to comedies, but I rarely laugh or smile. I enjoy the jokes, I get it. I just don't laugh. Very very rarely I'll chortle at something - and that's my version of laughing hysterically - and a few seconds later it's gone - and I'll struggle to remember what it even felt like.

I was a high flying city slicking senior manager making about 4 times more a year than what some may say is the average but I quit that life to get married and ended up in an abusive relationship (psychologically and emotionally) which ended in a super dramatic version of an EastEnders Christmas special!

The death threats from her family, day in a police cell after having been accused of a crime I did not commit, harassment and a very drawn out divorce has taken its toll. Anxiety reached new levels and I came out the other end a little broken.

I live with my mum, haven't worked for two years. I started a job a couple of weeks ago, but it's a commission only sales job. Financially, I'm broke - but I don't care!

Might be an effect of the dysthymia.