For years now I’ve always felt lonely even in a group of close friends (I always feel like the least important one and that my absence wouldn’t change anything) And ever since this loneliness hit me I’ve felt so emotional closed off. It’s gotten to the point where I try to make myself feel sad just so that I’ll at least feel something. In my head I’ve always told myself it just my brain seeking for attention but last year 2018 was probably the worst it’s ever been. It got so bad that the main reason I’m even writing this post is so that someone can finally hear at least a fraction of things that I’ve been thinking/feeling about.