I was the child in a relationship like this. It’s not healthy. Over 16 years (I’m adopted stepchild) I can count 4 times I found my stepfather, in a private corner, broke down sobbing. I can remember each one. And he is not some “beta” or any form of a “lesser male.” He is everything, fishing, hunting, boat repair, helped me rebuild my car I wrecked, marine biologist, ex military, etc.

It’s not healthy. That shit breaks you down, piece by piece. You can call it dysfunctional, but after so many times, it’s just an excuse. And as a child, growing up, that really warps your sense of normalcy.

I didn’t realize it was not normal to creep around the house (during daylight) like you are trying not to disturb the dead. I often hid out of her line of sight. Then she wonders why I never want to do anything with her.