I'm not trying to 'shame' you, the feeling of shame is just the feeling we all have when we 'wake up' from the 'unconsciousness' we all call 'normal.' It's not your fault that you watch them. 'Unconsciousness' is the force every humanitarian effort is trying to combat. It's difficult because unconsciousness (or, being numb to the inhumanity of others), is normalized. It's for this same reason that I don't watch porn. If people really knew the truth about some of those girls lives, they'd never be able to watch again.

I didn't use to always be like this. I used to watch gore videos and I used to watch violent porn. In other words, I was 'unconsciously' using the inhumanity of others for my own pleasure. However... when I started meditating, I realized that all that negative energy really was affecting me. Karma just means that your energy will be negatively tainted when it could have been positively tainted. We all have the choice. Whether you watch it or not isn't going to change the world in the grand scheme of things. I guess a part of me would have just felt bad if I didn't say this.