Yes and yes ... but that doesn't solve the problem for us. We are swingers. So in addition to our own disconnect, he wanted sex from others but not from me. Waaaaay to much of a complex after a while with that one! Lol! I stopped the swinging and made him focus on us. We nearly split 3 times over this last year. This new job, coupled with me seeing a sex therapist (hubby refused to go) seems to have breathed a little life into us .... at least over these past few weeks. Time will tell if it's permanent or a temporary phase from him just so I will give the green light to going back to swinging. I also will admit to seeing someone on the side over this past year. Yes, he made me feel wanted and needed, but it after a time only reinforced what was missing in my marriage. Those good feelings started to turn on me and made me more sad after I'd leave his bed soon as thoughts of what a shambles my marriage was - at least sexually and emotionally. Pluses and minuses to straying.

Have you seen a therapist? With him or by yourself?? He's helped me focus on me. There were things I didn't understand about men, their minds, egos, and members. Plus, there were things I needed to change and work on too. I feel it's helped me, even though he would never join me.