I can accept myself (that im gay) only after im under influence, only when I shut down voice in my head that says 'u strange ,boring and awkward' which is with me all the time when im sober. Family is super disappointed but this is only little percent of actual disappointment i feel from myself. I have dreams (weird - thats how i look them when sober) of becomeing high heels dancer and music producer or dj but it only make sense and feels approachable when high. Did anyone try hipnoterapy ? Can i quiet hater in my head? If it works why it isnt as popular as basic addiction therapy which apparently ,not only in my case but in general has like 4% of effectiveness. Please tell me what do you think ? And thanks very much in advance ❤