Pretty similar to how he felt, the first one intrigued me because of the morally grey ending because I felt ambivalent on Joel’s actions because he isn’t the all knowing good guy that is constantly painted in that light, contrast it to the waking dead were rick would infamously say “I’m not the good guy anymore” but I mean that’s bullshit of course he is because they do at times allude to how dark human nature can get in times of distress and their animalistic nature taking over having to defend for oneself but never really commit to it as much as TLOU. Joel was and hunter who fended for himself in all means necessary regardless of how inhumane the methods were, the rest of the world could go fuck themselves. Which is a testament to how grim the world they live in really is. TLOU Part II just kind of threw that ambiguity out of the window for a Hail Mary guilt trip story that really didn’t land due to how cookie cutter the ending was for a story that really didn’t ask any questions or build on the characters in any meaningful way.