I found this by searching for parallel worlds. I tried to commit suicide in 1985, I was 21 and a miserable alcoholic. There are times I feel like I do not belong here in this existence. I was very talented both vocally and in different instruments. After the suicide attempt I have no memory of most of my childhood. I have flashbacks from time to time. My talent has never been the same. The damage to my throat of course affected my voice. I realize this could be from hypoxia. I was complaining about me struggling to my mother several years ago, I'm soon to be 58, married with 3 kids and 7 grandkids; my mother told her this is her fault and looked at my with such sadness and said, "when you hung yourself I was forced to make decisions that no mother should ever have to make. You will never know" and she walked away. I have had many health struggles over the years. I've never felt I belonged here and it's like I'm from somewhere else and have taken someone's place. I told my wife not long ago I feel like I died in 1985 and this existence is where people go that screw up like I did or when I died another me was pulled into my crappy world and our memories are mixed and my mother knows this somehow. My wife just rolled her eyes as I do have a very active imagination for a guy my age. The dreams I have every night almost suggest that my mind is trying to get back to where it belongs. I have a recurring dream that I live and work in some kind of resort for rich people in the mountains and I know where everything is at and they rely on me to get things done and to fix all their gadgets. I am really good at fixing things. I know there's more to this and I'm just too ignorant to understand it at the moment. I am very faithful Christian so I have to be careful who I talk to about these things. Actually my wife is the only one I've ever talked to about this.