Thank you!!
To start I want to explain I have been openly lesbian for almost a decade now and around a lot of different gender identified people. The issue I'm having is understanding "bigender" and "nonbinary".
Recently I got a new roommate who goes by they/them pronouns and identifies as nonbinary, which I respect, I just don't understand these two concepts.
It sounds like when you say people innately know their gender identity more than just how you dress or look you're talking about a feeling? What I'm not understanding is, it sounds to me, and I don't mean this in an offensive way I'm just trying to express how my brain is receiving this information, that people who "feel" both male and female, or "feel" neither male or female, are confusing gender roles with an actual biological reaction.
My argument about that is that for a long time now the trans community fought to prove that their brains worked opposite of their birth sex, causing body dysmorphia, and science backs it up and that's how strides were/are being made. So when I hear people claim that their brains are either showing both male and female or neither, that makes no sense to me because especially with nonbinary, it doesn't make sense that your brain would not "fire off" in response to outside stimuli, it does, and it will act in the way that it is physiologically created as, whether it be the same as a person's birth sex or opposite. Otherwise that area of your brain would be like, what like dead or just in a constant state of firing off to multiple areas? That's not how brains work as far as I understand.
As for the bigender thing I could say this makes more sense to me than nonbinary, but it still doesn't because that description just sounds like a normal human. You have no sway when it comes to gender roles, sometimes you feel masculine, sometimes feminine, but physiologically both can't happen at once because the resources in your brain are finite. Sometimes I wake up and feel very masculine and I dress very masculine and feel it, and sometimes I feel very feminine and I wear feminine clothes and my mannerisms are more feminine. If I over thought it, I might try to identify as genderqueer or maybe bigender, but it's not something I see as an issue because gender roles mean nothing to me and acknowledging them in that way seems counter productive. Unless it was a political move. I am the female sex, and identify as a cisfemale. Just because I "feel" my gender role or gender expression can change doesn't mean it's a biological factor. So it seems more like a political move to identify as these things, like in a rejection of societies standards on men and women. Which is great, but it keeps being presented to me as a physiological thing, which I can't understand it being based on my knowledge of how the human body works.
But! I'm not in any way claiming to know more than the people claiming these identities. I just am reaching out for more information that I apparently don't have and would love for someone to really just explain it to me. Is this a physiological thing? Is it political?