i think we've all been in a somewhat similar position. lgbtq+ is a very diverse demographic but I think unrequited love is probably the one thing everyone who identifies as lgbtq+ can relate to.

my experience was a little different but the feelings you describe are the same. it happened twice for me. first one was rough but I got over him in a few months. second one I still think about literally every day even tho it was 3 years ago. we were lifeguards together one summer and I saw him shirtless everyday. he was a college rower with the body of a sean cody pornstar and on top of that, the nicest guy I have ever met. we became good friends but I learned from my first experience to not confess my true feelings, especially because this time I was almost positive he was straight. We are still friends but part of me wishes he didn't like me at all and would stop messaging me back because idk if I'll ever get over him.

Eventually you build enough strength to never fall in love with straight guys. I seriously doubt this will ever happen again. After the first time I promised myself to never fall in love with a straight guy but the second dude was literally the perfect man and i saw him half-naked everyday so yea.

I will say It really helps once you're out of the closet too and hooking up with other gay guys lol.