Hi guys i try fighting sin but feel unable

Many believers still struggle with sin.

also i think i commited the blasphemy against the Holy Spirit

What did you do exactly?

But i don't know if i am saved, i still want to witness to other people even if i am appointed for hell.

Despite being cursed by God and having a ruined life, I have the desire to witness to people about Jesus. But I am thinking I shouldn't do it because I am a poor witness, and may just be doing more harm than good to the faith. I already turned off my whole family to Christianity because of what happened after God cursed me. So now they will most likely be going to hell and its my fault.