Hey man, you're processing a bunch of emotions that have been building up for a long time. What you do from here is critical. You have a lot of reason to feel as you do but if you buy into this narrative being "the way things are" then you'll only relate to those things in women and you'll just grow more bitter and closed off emotionally. When we build frame works like this we create a role for ourselves this one being called The Victim. Most of us are at first offended when confronted with the idea that we're creating that role. But almost all of us have done at some point. The sad thing is the way our ego works is that we actually get validated each time we feel we get victimize again and again. We say things like "I knew she was like that or I knew it was going to happen". It's a classic instance of creating our own shitty feedback loop of abuse.

Now here's the thing. How you change your relationship with women is a personal journey. So this all just my opinion from my experince. You have some deep resentments and in my experience I've needed outside help to get over my own resentments. So when I decided to change how things are going and not buy into further victimhood and self pity, I had to find a way to change how a related to my pain in my past. For me some therapy helped. I have a spiritual life so meditation and prayer also works well for me. Obviously everyone is different. At 21 I wouldn't have been into the meditation and prayer. Eventually I was able to have the capacity to hold these people I resented with understanding and forgiveness. I did that for me. In the middle of it I also found out I was also very angry at myself for allowing it to happen. So forgivness there was also key to allowing myself to live and make new mistakes.

I grew up with a loving but complelty high strung and erratic mother. I also went through a very painful divorce, which people close to me would even say (unprompted) was extra brutal then most divorces. While getting divorced I thought about the people I knew who had been divorced and the rest of their lives they lived with bitterness. I remember making the decision that the rest of my life would not be predicated off that divorce. I'm so happy I did.