I have some experience with this. The absolute most important thing is that you are able to talk to your partner about anything. Is this true in your relationship? If not, you need to get with your husband and start working through things. Is everything else good in your relationship? Is it actually though?

Most importantly, you have to come at it from a place of concern for your relationship. Not sex. Forget about sex for a while (I know - it's hard!) and look at other aspects of your relationship. Usually, a "dead bedroom" is just a symptom of issues outside of the bedroom. I know sex has taken a backseat for such a long time, but it's really important that it takes a back seat for now while you guys figure out what is going on.

I'm not an expert, just a middle-aged dude that had given up on having sex much ever again. But it turns out there were massive communication issues going on, and some people just can't have sex with someone they don't feel that close to. Don't take that the wrong way - I'm sure you feel like you're close, but are you really? Maybe your husband experiences your bond differently from you.

I've been in your spot before and can tell you that it will be very hard, some difficult conversations will need to happen. It's 100% worth it, not even just for the sex, but for becoming that much closer to the love of your life.