I used to work with a very conservative religious man who was also one of the biggest hypocrites I’ve ever met. He would always make degrading “that’s women’s work” comments and refuse to pick up after himself in our shared work space. He despised me because I am an openly gay man. I’m confident, big, strong, masculine and have no issues or insecurities when it comes to doing so-called “feminine” things or making jokes at my own expense. I scared the shit out of him because I constantly challenged his closed minded statements and called out his behaviors when others wouldn’t. One morning he came to work looking extra pompous, telling anyone willing to listen how his wife was feeling frisky so he “got lucky” before work and then his grand punchline: “here, I’ll prove it! Smell my finger!!” Then keel over laughing. I put an end to it real quick by saying “hey man, I got lucky this morning too, smell MY finger” and then dragged my finger firmly along his nose/nostrils. The entire department erupted in laughter, he looked ready to vomit and never spoke to me again after that. My coworkers still bring it up years later as the ultimate burn. He finally retired, refused to have a party because everyone hated him so much by the end. We had our own party later to celebrate him leaving. Imagine working somewhere for nearly 40 years and no one cares that you’re leaving, or more so are HAPPY that you’ll finally be gone.

I’m glad you spoke up. It’s the only way forward. Not everyone has found their voice, people like you help others find their way and feel seen. Cheers!