Just my two cents here...Wow, how this whole thing hits home. First off let me tell you that the issue with kids finding out is pretty much a non issue. I have been married to my beautiful wife for 26 years now. I did not tell her of my ab lifestyle until we were married, which I regret and was unfair to her but she accepted me and loved me anyway. After that I spilled my guts to her about my whole lifestyle, and mind you this was pre internet days and I thought I was the only one in the world that felt this way, so it was extremely hard. After her understanding my kink she was happy to oblige me and even participated sometimes buying me baby things and toys and such. I was a bit self centered then and kinda took advantage of the situation and wanted to be diapered every night. Which now I know is wrong, you have to have some balance. As you were mentioning I was not fully there as the leader of the family . Through alot of ups and downs and trial and error I learned and accepted the balance and am my wife's rock she can rely on. She lets me play baby together and we snuggle and have fun but once or twice a week and that's fine. I am the sole bread winner for my family and now have my oldest son getting his masters degree and the other two oldest in college and the youngest an A student in high school. I feel we have come a long way together but we stuck it out,stayed together and loved one another. Just tell your husband you love him no matter what. If you indulge him sometimes, I know for a fact he will love you forever and just tell him you need to be held and comforted and be a rock for you sometimes.. He will do it..I did. I am just happy you didn't throw him away as alot might have...Good for you...If you need any advice or help, feel free to contact me..God bless