I think I’m understanding my rigidity has to do with my childhood environment: I was raised by an alcoholic father and an enabler mother and had my feelings and comments about the dysfunction dismissed a lot as a child, and I think it’s resulted in me placing a higher-than-usual amount of support for my own thoughts/feelings as an adult. Because I had correct outlooks on dysfunctional environments has a child and people told me I was wrong, when I grew up and realized I was right all along it makes it hard for me to trust other people’s thought processes/viewpoints/feelings/opinions over my own.

My compulsions to fixate on details etc is all anxiety/fear driven. If I can control my environment/pay attention to the details enough then I’ll remain safe. Shit happens of course, but if I can minimize the times that shit can happen I’m a more efficient/effective/better person. Which isn’t true of course, but it’s the story my brain tells me.