As we prepare for Christmas and backyard cricket season - the field position

The house rules for me and my mates: * Fence behind the stumps on the off side is the auto keeper. Leg side is fair game. * Any tree or its leaves on the full is caught by a fielder, but if on the bounce then play on. * Over a difficult fence, on the roof or over the road is six and out * Hitting the straight boundary (roughly from long on to long off) is a boundary * No one hand one bounce or tipene's (fuck knows how to spell it, but that's what we call 'if you hit it you've got to run') * If you do decide to run, you call "safe" when you're safe. If you cheat, you're going to Hell (where I assume you face Shoaib/Lee/Tait/Garner/Donald/Larwood etc. at the WACA in failing light for eternity) * Test-match style unlimited overs is permitted, but generally there will be a limit of 5-10 overs per side. Where there are no sides, whoever gets the batsman out becomes the new batsman. * Whoever gets them out is not always the bowler. The catcher (caught), keeper (stumped), fielder (run out) etc. will take over. Where the batsman is out caught to a tree or a six and out, the bowler is deemed to have taken the wicket. * A tennis ball shall be used, and no protective gear is permitted. Unless you're soft. * The toss is replaced by a flip of the bat, unless it is particularly valuable. The calls are either "mountains" or "valleys", the latter being the flat face of the bat. * Everyone gets a turn to bowl, and if you've batted recently when taking a wicket it is considered within the spirit of the game to grant one of the less talented players a turn to bat. * The bowler shall commentate at all times, doing his or her best impression of the Channel Nine commentary team member of their choosing. * If playing on the beach, hard sand underfoot and full tosses are required. A ball hit into the ocean counts as a six and out, as above. * If the grounds do not permit a reasonable length pitch, no fast bowling is permitted. * If you lose the ball, you go and find it. * Anybody coming off a full-length run up shall be promptly mocked if they bowl anything less than perfection. * Should the ball knock over someone's beer, another fielder must attempt to save it if they are unable to do so. Beer knocking-over should always be apologised for and remedied promptly. * Cricket must be the winner on the day

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