Redditor with asperger's syndrome explains why socializing is so hard for him.

From what I can tell, he's just being honest about how he perceives the world around him. I was recently diagnosed as being on the autistic spectrum, and speaking from my own experience, I don't have the interest or patience to engage myself in most of the things people talk about. It's simply irrelevant to me and it's very tiring to having to pretend that I'm interested, or come up with things to say in order to participate.

Does this make me sound like an inconsiderate prick? Probably. But what else can I say? That's just the reality of how my mind works. It took me many years to get over that feeling of guilt, that I was somehow wrong or a bad person for being unable to force myself to identify with the things so many other people identify with.

The alternative to dishonestly pretending to be engaged by the conversation is to either try and talk about something that does interest you, or to stay silent. Obviously in situations where other people prefer to talk about these more 'normal' things, they are less likely to have the desire or the patience to talk about the sort of things that might interest me, and ultimately it will end in frustration or an argument. After all, they're just trying to have a good time, at least in the manner in which they derive their enjoyment.

So over time, you say less and less as you get tired of pretending, and then you slowly just give up on interacting socially, as the vast majority of the time it causes frustration and just makes you feel tired and upset.

Not to mention that at least for me, growing a friendship with someone else is highly stressful, since being aware that someone else might have some kind of emotional dependence or expectation of me is not something my mind can really wrap itself around. I lack a lot of the capacity to feel that sort of closeness or kinship that normal people seem to be able to feel relatively easily.

Invariably the better I get to know another person, the less interested I become in them, as there's less to discover the more familiar you are, so there are even less things that you can talk about or experience with them.

Not sure if that helps in providing some context.

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