I have mixed feelings about this comment. On the one hand I completely agree that younger sis should have individual agency re: care commitment/mental health. On the other hand I also understand the collectivist identity that is part of the fabric of asian-american families, which is both a strength and weakness.

The gentle reminder I have for OP (and her sister) is that every "no" is really a "yes" and vice versa. In the moment it can seem crystal clear what we are saying "yes" to, but there are downstream implications that are often not immediately apparent. However, OP needs to keep in mind that sis does not owe her any explanations regarding her priorities. That is a hard pill to swallow when one feels they have given generously not as a gift, but with reciprocity in mind.