I agree that we should fight against hate or even disapproval directed towards random unrelated muslims for fundamentalist violence. There are a billion muslims out there, it's an incredibly ethnically and culturally and socially diverse group of people. I further agree that fundamentalist violence does not impose any sort of obligation upon the other adherents of the religion. Most nobly, integration will come, and it will be a great victory. The lesson of history is that terrorist movements die out over time, sometimes it takes a few decades, but relatively quickly compared to other institutions.
So don't mistake my quibbling below, you're rightly praised for all these points. I just want to add an annotated footnote on the margin of the main thrust of what you're saying.
The abortion clinic bombing comparison, for one, is a false equivalence. The same number of people killed throughout history over abortion issues [1] are killed by islamic terrorists more than twice over every single day.[2][3] Also, after these incidents, leading Christians and anti-abortion activists actually have come out to condemn the violent acts against abortion providers.[4][5]
But you're thinking, "I hear about terrorism about as much as I hear about abortion bombings, these have to be proportionate phenomena!" Well, maybe not.
Note that over 80% of terrorist attacks occur in just 5 countries: Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Nigeria and Syria. Since you don't live in those countries, it's easy to develop a muted appreciation for the frequency and severity of islamic terrorism. And you don't actually hear about anti-abortion violence very frequently, it just sticks in your mind because it's a stunning example of brutal hypocrisy by individuals claiming to be "pro-life." The reason people equate islamic terrorism and Christian violence, even though they aren't anything remotely approaching the same level of frequency or devastation is because of something call the availability heuristic.[6]
Despite the fact that violent fundamentalist muslims are a paltry minority of the whole community, there are some views within the muslim community that are more widespread and deserve to be confronted. In a poll of a thousand British muslims, not one expressed any tolerance for homosexuality. Only 3% thought sex outside of wedlock was morally acceptable.[7] Maybe you're thinking "that's not that big a deal, lots of things are "morally wrong" to religious people, like eating before communion." To give an indication of the severity of the wrongness of sexual immorality, note that 4/5ths of Pakistani muslims support stoning adulterers.[8] Support for honor killings is in the minority, but ranges from one in ten to one in five. Over 2/3rds of British muslims support the arrest and prosecution of anyone who insults Islam.[9]
According to Pew Research in 2013, 76% of South Asian Muslims and 56% of Egyptians advocate killing anyone who leaves the Islamic religion.[10]
A hundred other polls collected here.[11] Maybe the polls are all bullshit. If we had polls that people with red hair supported stoning women though, we might want to start having some conversations with more of them, maybe even about this issue specifically, get a chance to either debunk that myth, or explain why we think stoning women for having sex is a very bad idea.
So on the whole, I think we solve this not just by waiting it out, but by inviting people over for tea and coffee. Getting to know people in our society, regardless of their religion. Talk to them about where you hope your kids will go to school and how you're encouraging them to get good grades, and eventually warm up to talking about difficult issues too.
People don't assimilate while you're watching them from behind the shutters. It takes a little mutual participation. How great will it be if you find out that they already look at the world much like you do. How great would it be if they don't, but think you have a few good points about morality when you do. It's win win.
[1] Probably 8, but let's round up to 20: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-abortion_violence#Murders [2] Let's truncate to 17,000 in 2013: http://www.visionofhumanity.org/#/page/our-gti-findings
I'm probably forgetting something, maybe there are a few hundred other deaths worldwide related to abortion issues that I've just overlooked. It's not 17,000 a year though. Nothing remotely close.
[4] http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/us/2009/May/Pro-life-Community-Condemns-Tiller-Shooting/ [5] http://www.ncregister.com/site/article/the_shooting_of_george_tiller/
[6] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Availability_heuristic
[7] http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2009/may/07/muslims-britain-france-germany-homosexuality [8] http://www.realcourage.org/2009/08/pakistan-78-percent-call-for-apostate-deaths/ [9] http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/14/opinion/main1893879.shtml&date=2011-04-06 [10] http://www.pewforum.org/uploadedFiles/Topics/Religious_Affiliation/Muslim/worlds-muslims-religion-politics-society-full-report.pdf
[11] http://www.thereligionofpeace.com/pages/opinion-polls.htm