Your story is a lot of the reason why I feel the way I do. I kinda feel down as it is about my attractiveness to a woman, and then seeing the typical femdom kinda made me even more worse since I really don't want that kind of treatment. Just because I want to sexually submit to a woman, be her sex toy, and have her draw out my inner slut doesn't mean I'm worthless - far from it. Even with my kinks, I'm not into what I see in a lot of the porn that's depicted - I can't say I'm into all of what I see anywhere. So it makes me wonder with what I see women into if there would be one that would jump to have a guy like me that's mostly vanilla but still wants to be her fetish dispenser in that way - and then take care of me well and appreciate me for giving her those things.

It's rough, for sure.