I don’t have the words to make this better, so I’m not going to try. But I think is worth mentioning, however, is that you seem to really love your brother. By virtue of that alone, I imagine he’s an amazing person. How lucky you are to get know someone like him. And, not only know him, but to know him deeply, the way only brothers get to know each other. It’s pretty beautiful that the forces that be put you two together.

The second thing I wanted to mention is tears are strange things—they sometimes come at the most inopportune times; other times, they don’t come at all. Doesn’t mean you don’t care, or that you’re not hurting. They’ll come when they come, or maybe not at all.