Based on my personal experience, it has never been pleasant. But, I would guess that this also depends on what you were incarcerated for. We have former presidents who have admitted to doing drugs, and no one even bats an eyelash. Society tends to be forgiving about drug abusers, and minor crimes.
Outside of the guys I grew up with, my family, and my HR department, only 3 people know. Every single one of them reacted very, very negatively. All 3 were people I loved very much, but they couldn't see past my history, no matter what kind of person I am today. I work in a professional environment, with people making well into the 6 figure range, and for the most part, they've all lived the suburban American life with white picket fences, in upper middle class, to upper class households. They're good people, and but they wouldn't be understanding if I told them the truth, nor could they begin to understand outside of what they've seen in movies. I've been invited to weddings, asked to babysit children, given the keys to households, and I've never violated anyone's trust. But once they knew about my past, I was avoided like the plague.
One of my friend's kid, I love like my own son, but I would guess that if the truth was told, I wouldn't be allowed within 10 feet. It's a strange conundrum because I don't want to lie to those I love. My solution is to simply change the subject, or be as vague as possible. When I was locked up, college courses were available to us, so I could look someone right in the face and said I went to college when I was 21. If someone asks about the bullet wound in my arm, I just say it was a childhood accident.
I know a lot of people would judge this, and me, and say it's wrong. But, they haven't lived our lives. A part of me wants to share the true person, the good and the bad, to be able to be vulnerable. Like you, I also want people to see that a person can change. My fears, and the logical part of me, always holds me back. But, I don't blame folks. There's over 7 billion people on this planet. If I told someone I've shot multiple people, and was involved in a gang, why would they want to be around me, when there are so many options to choose from, that's less risky?
To be fair, one of my old friends was incarcerated for a gang related triple homicide. The only reason he's out on the streets is because he was tried as a juvenile, and they couldn't hold him past 25. He told his now-wife, and she was able to look past that. They have 3 children together, and all are in AP classes. He does everything he can to give back to society by volunteering, and donating to charities. He spoils his kids, and gives them everything he never had growing up. He's rebuilt his entire life. We get together often to discuss life. We both have different versions of living our best, and giving back, but have wildly different experiences with relationships.