Unless you have been in a situation similar to mine, you won't be able to understand it. Try putting yourself in my shoes and look at it from a different perspective.
You're made to feel like you are in the wrong for feeling tortured by something which you didn't consent to in the first place. You are brainwashed and manipulated into believing that the only way you will become what you really want to be is to stay in the abusive relationship. You try leaving, and get manipulated further by both the 'Master' and his other slave. You beat yourself up (mentally and physically) because you are such a loser and a failure as a slave. You cannot achieve your dreams, and the flashbacks are a constant reminder of what you did wrong (in your eyes at the time). Combine that with the tattoo, and you really feel like you have no option but to keep at it until you stop being such a shit slave.
What the hell does edge play have to do with a lifestyle BDSM relationship? This is not a session thing, this is a 24/7 real-life slavery setup. Lifestyle BDSM is about building trust with each other, and not being completely manipulated into believing that you are totally useless because you can't do what the Master wants immediately.
I also couldn't give a shit about your friend in Hollywood. If he wants to be hospitalised, then that's his fantasy. My fantasy was to become a domestic (and eventual) lifestyle slave who could become a servant and a sexual object when required, but I also made it perfectly clear several times that I needed certain things to be taken slowly.
Bastard completely understood what I wanted, what I needed and what I was unable to do. He chose to ignore ALL of those things and treated me like a piece of meat. I am a slave, not a sex doll. It seems like you have absolutely no understanding of a sub's mindset (especially if you have guys who leave disappointed because you don't know where their limits are) and although I have far less experience than you, you appear to have a far more simplistic view of BDSM than I have, and that is - in my opinion - disgusting.