My biggest beef with Germantown and Gaithersburg is that they're really not walkable communities. I don't think the crime rate is very different. On the Wheaton side of the Red line you can easily walk to metro, grocery, pharmacy by each metro station.

I also don't think it's a great time to be house shopping economically.

Being closer to DC is great for the cultural opportunities (internships too for when kids are older) and less traffic (you don't need to get on 495 to get into the city). And you mentioned work proximity. The drive home during rush hour up 270 is not fun. I have done it. Maybe if the government ever adds good public transportation north/south it will alleviate the traffic but they seem bent on highway widening which never actually works.

Imho you won't find better home value than in Wheaton in terms of walkability, diversity, delicious food, access to green spaces (Wheaton Regional! Sligo!). I love my neighbors here. So many nice families. Wheaton can support community more because you can walk and bike. People are actually out on the sidewalks and yards chatting with each other and being friendly. It can't be beat! Rockville downtown is pretty walkable too and pretty diverse I think? But much more expensive.

I find Gaithersburg and Germantown to be stale suburbia and everything is too far apart and the roads are too big to walk safely!

Frederick ...culturally feels very xenophobic. I don't spend much time there. Maybe it's changed a bit but I still think more racist people are drawn to live up there to escape the diversity and get back to "the good old days". Housing was cheaper there but not so much anymore. Regarding Poolesville, I had a black friend move there (years ago) and when she had a birthday party the following year it was all white girls. It just wasn't the same. I think Wheaton is where it's at. It's also close to everything!