I'm not a kink practitioner, so this is probably a completely ignorant question, but is it usual to conflate role-play and real life scenarios like this? It seems the LW likes playing a "guard-dog", not being a "guard-dog". Investigating a strange noise is unlikely to require real bravery while allowing for a lot of bravado and play, but when it comes to an actual confrontation, LW does not enjoy it, even while acknowledging its something they want to better at for reasons of being a decent person, not sexual gratification. And this makes perfect sense to me, because you can role play a lot of sexual scenarios even outside identifying as kinky, that you wouldn't want to experience outside a controlled consensual play situation.