This was a gradual, long and painful process. Since I was a member of the national committee on Tabligh, I had to dig deep into the Ahmadiyya literature and other sources to find answers to objections and mostly allegations in order to supply our subordinates around the country with the appropriate "weapons" in every situation. Our potential converts would often organise debates on the controversial subjects to evaluate our respective strength before taking any step. What I didn't expect however is that I would discover in the same breath contradictions within Ahmadiyyat itself. This is when the cognitive dissonance (which I referred to in my essay) started kicking in. The feeling of being torn apart in my mind grew more intense with time until I couldn't bear any more and chose to be true to myself regardless of others. And the consequence was obviously that the others chose to reject me. Though alone without my family, I'm proud to be where I am now. I feel the sense of unity deep inside my mind. This is what is meant by integrity in all the spheres of life and I'm enjoying it.

You'll certainly find this funny: I made my decision and informed the office accordingly on the 26th of May 2008, that is, exactly 100 years after the demise of Ghulam Ahmad on the 26th of May 1908! I didn't pay attention to this, but in their reply, they pointed this out. Funny, isn't it? Mind you, I'm not superstitious and I don't believe in coincidences. I'm an earthly person with a scientific mind. I've been in science all my life (I touched upon this in my annexed essay).