estimated
Be Christmas tree
Estimated to be delivered December 24th
Whatever if I get to be part of someones Christmas it means so much anyway
Packed in back of UPS truck on December 20th
Travel from BFE to Schitt Creek in a day
By the 22nd I'm four miles from destination but it's late
On the 23rd I go out for delivery
Truck one mile from destination
Suddenly stops almost immediately after a delivery
UPS truck and Xmas so maybe normal
Sound of shouting and the truck shakes like a lot of weight getting added on board in a hurry
Truck suddenly takes off very quickly more shouting
Some time passes like 10 minutes wtf we were only a mile away
10 more minutes pass without any delivery maybe driver is on lunch? I can't see anything in here it's dark
I can't wait to be a Christmas tree you guys
10 more minutes pass we have not even slowed down
Maybe the driver is eating lunch I can't hold in my excitement
Truck comes to a screeching halt
Sudden burst of gunfire rips through the truck, bullets tear off some of my branches
Lots of shouting
Lots more shouting
Quiet
Some days pass
I start to feel weak it's been too long since I got watered
When am I going to get delivered?
By my calculations now January 2nd
Feel my box move
Finally get to be a Christmas tree!
Box is moving a lot
This is it
I can't wait
Ooh it's getting warmer I must be inside a nice toasty house
Very nice
wut.exe
It's getting very warm
I've been starving and dehydrated and now it's sooooo hot
Realize I'm on fire
I went straight from the back of the UPS truck to the incinerator
Merry Christmas