Aristocrats Joke [Offensive]:
So there is a family of six: a mom, a dad, a brother, a sister, a baby, and grandma. Grandma is there for fun.
They walk into talent agent's office and they tell the agent, "We got a great act for you. It's going to knock your socks off!", and the agent goes, "We don't do family acts; they're too cute." The dad then says, "Ah, but this is a kind of cute that you've never seen before. You're going to like it. I promise!" The agent says, "Alright, you got two minutes. Let's see what you got."
The mom and dad start profusely making out, and the agent goes, "It's a weird opener, but I'll stick with it. This isn't so bad." Well, wait until the kids start going at it too. Tongue and cheek. Literally.
And then the sister starts to kiss the dad, the mom starts to eat out the boy's asshole. Pretty soon the whole family is locked in a terrible orgy that there's no escape from. They have reached the point of no return.
As the orgy is happening they begin to rotate, everybody! Even the baby is being used as a dildo. They're all rotating except for grandma who's outside of the rotation of the orgy because someone's got to be there to lick the dirty parts as they go by.
Now there's just sweat and cum and piss and blood because things get crazy but it's okay because they're all related, it's fine. The agent has already called 911 by now. He started dialing when he noticed the son sticking a glass rod up his penis and bending it like a glowstick. You can just hear a handful of pops. He then fucks his sister with his little, tiny baby dick. She's not loving it. He gets a little too excited. He cums the bloody, cummy glass shards into his sister's child cunt. That wasn't part of the act.
Meanwhile, mom is blowing dad right in front of the kids. Grandma is eating out the babies asshole. The baby is eating cat food.
By now it's probably a good time to say that the mother is retarded, and not just acceptably retarded, wheelchair retarded! Which is great because those ones drool a lot, so you always got a lubed hole, which is exactly what they were using.
Blood, piss, cum, shit. Literally every bodily fluid you can think of was just smeared across this poor agent's office, especially the tears.
I haven't forgotten about grandma. She gets up on top of the agent's desk and pulls out a crossbow and she shoots a grappling hook into the ceiling and repels down off the desk, across the room, pussy first onto the grandson's dick. They both fall over. He cracks three ribs. He dies. His last breathes were sucked out of him by the orgasm he was having, shooting his little cum load inside grandma.
Meanwhile, dad is busy punch-fisting the daughter's butt. Mom is smearing her shitty colostomy bag all over her developing tits.
Oh the baby! I forgot about the baby. It's head came off somewhere along the way. Now the dad picks it up, and you might be thinking, "Oh! A decapitated baby's head!" But the dad is thinking, "Oh! A new hole (baby's throat)!" And what do we do when we find a new hole? We make it bigger!
Okay now here is where it gets gross. By now mom has fallen out of the wheel chair and she's convulsing on the ground because at some point during the act she missed her dose. They put the headless baby's corpse into the wheelchair and they tie a long ribbon across the room and they use it as a slingshot to sling the baby out the window. It barely missed the agent's head.
The brother's penis is inside of the daughter, but he's not attached to it. She cut it off and is using the blood as tribal paint on her face. You can't tell the difference between the brother and the sister at this point. The daughter pulls out a noose and ties it to the chandelier, puts her neck through it and flat out hangs herself. Obviously the family uses it as a piñata. You can imagine beating it over and over, with metal bats by the way. You can just imagine how the crunches turn into softer and softer beats, you know? Because they're just breaking her into fine bits from the inside and you can imagine what's dripping on the ground; different shades of red and green for some reason. Her brother's cum, that's what's dripping out of her as well. They start spinning her so all of her fluids are shooting across the room.
At this point dad has filled two condoms fully with cum and starts using them as nun- cumchucks on his dead daughter. She's actually not dead yet, she's still dying.
Did I mention the family is black? You thought they were white this whole time.
The last memory she'll ever have is her dad's cum in her eye right before she blacks out.
The agent then goes, "I've never seen an act like that in my life! What do you call yourselves?" The dad limps up, he's limping because you can imagine in this terrible sex act, shit gets broke, one of his eyes is dead. He limps up to the agent's desk like a Walmart employee and throws his hands on it. He says, "Can I see your pocket knife?" So the agent says, "Alright. This man seems sane." He gives him the pocket knife and the dad carves the Aristocrats into the desk and fills those grooves with cum before taking the pocket knife and slitting his own throat and dying next to his wife, who's still breathing involuntarily, mind you, because the oxygen tanks are still pumping her lungs.
The whole family is dead at this point. This wasn't even an act, it was a mass suicide disguised as an audition. It's part of their religion.
Cops arrive and the agent is arrested for mass murder.
I need a psychiatrist.